Birth Story

Bryson Richard Hann
Born August 17, 2012
12:35pm
7lbs 15oz, 22.25in long

Words cannot describe the experience we had bringing Bryson into this world. Everyone has their own birth story and some are fairly easy and some are much worse than mine but how can I not put into words the experience we had- although it wasn't easy, the end result was worth every pain, tear and hardship.

(this is a long story and I am putting in all details to remind me of just how truly good God is and to show my baby boy one day how God had/has such a special plan for his life).

Let's start at the beginning:

With each passing doctor's appointment starting at 36 weeks I went in doubtful and hopeful at the same time that something would change in my body. This pregnancy was super easy from what I hear from others but towards the end I wondered if my body thought it was so easy that it was going to continue another few months (no thank you). Each doctor's visit she would check me and nothing. Not even the slightest sign of labor, change, nothing. I remember thinking in the beginning of my pregnancy that my birth plan was pretty simple- I wanted to go into labor on my own and avoid Pitocin at all costs. Well, little did I know God took my "only requests" and reminded me that He is in control.

I was nearing 41 weeks and my doctor suggested that I be induced as going past 42 weeks would increase my likelihood of having a C section. I was reluctant but she suggested I do a round of gels at the hospital and then go home and see if my body continues on its own. We agreed.

We went into the hospital on Sunday August 12 and had an 8 hour gel treatment (a gel they put into my cervix to help it soften and dilate) that they were hopeful would start the process and then finish it as I went home and continued life. After 8 hours I was at 1cm. 1CM! While I was happy that my body did something but after 8 hours of beginning labor and painful gel insertions, I was discouraged. The nurse said I did have the option of staying and just continuing the process and getting him out but we decided to go home and see what happens.

We went home and contractions stopped. Nothing happened. My hospital was booked for another week for scheduled inductions so my dr. recommended going to Banner Thunderbird to be induced by the middle of the week. They told me Wednesday would be the day. So Tuesday we did everything to get ready to have a baby. Got the house in order, bought last minute items, arranged for cat sitters, etc. Tuesday late afternoon I received a call from my dr's nurse and she said the hospital was slammed with labors and that I wouldn't be getting in today or probably tomorrow. My spirits were crushed as it just seemed like it was never going to happen. Jeremiah and I were encouraged to enjoy what could be the last evening as a family of 2 so I planned a date night. We went to a 'dine in' movie and enjoyed some time with just us.
The next morning we got the call that the hospital would be inducing us around midnight that next day...Finally around 3am the hospital called on Thursday morning and said it was time for us to come in and be induced.

The induction:

We got to the hospital and loved the feeling at Banner Tbird. The nurses and staff were so welcoming and great. We got all settled into our room and began the gel treatments again. The contractions started again right away. We walked around the hospital for hours and did a lot of talking and a lot of breathing. :)

After 8-9 hours of gels again, I was at 2cm. (sigh) I was having regular and strong contractions but not much dilation. So they began Pitocin (God took my one 'request' and reminded me He was in control). Pitocin began and contractions got progressively stronger but I was not dilating much. Finally we had a new nurse come in (this was our 3rd night of the day- they all shifted out with each 12 hours) and she suggested getting the epidural. We had been there over almost 24 hours and I was just exhausted. I couldn't imagine getting an epidural at 2cm. Seems like you don't get one of those until you are either dying or at least 5-6cm. She assured me that it was fine and that my body might just need to relax and rest. After the epidural was in- my body finally relaxed (thanks Ashley!!- we soon found out that Ashley's husband and Jeremiah knew each other from college- small world!). Ashley shifted out (tear) and we got our last nurse of labor process. They broke my water and then I went from 2cm to 10cm within about 8 hours. I started getting dizzy (from the epidural, exhaustion and not having eaten in almost 20 hours) and finally my nurse advised to start pushing. My mom and sister were there at that point and Jeremiah was as present as ever. I was so deathly afraid of pushing. Everyone around me was reassuring and helped coach me.

After an hour of pushing they called the dr in which I knew meant we were close. By the end of pushing I was definitely feeling the pain as the epidural was not as strong. I was honestly doubting if I could push him out. I remember saying out loud "I don't think I can do this" and everyone urged me to keep going and I was so close. A few more pushes and one amazing doctor helping and Bryson's head came out and from there the rest of him slid out. The relief was immense. They unwrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck (scary) and placed him on my chest. I remember just crying and saying over and over again "he is beautiful... he is so beautiful." I remember looking at Jeremiah as tears streamed down his face and thinking "I am so lucky to have this man be my husband and the father of our baby." He cut the umbilical cord and they got him checked out. As they stitched me back up I remember seeing my mom and sister crying with joy and Jeremiah proudly holding our son.

From there, we were a family of 3.

The part where our hearts sank:

After a short time getting situated, staring at our baby, finally eating and crying some more- they came to get us to bring us to our new room. I got in a wheelchair and I held Bryson as they wheeled us up to our recovery room. I felt so proud holding this gorgeous baby as we made our way through the hospital. We got into the room and our first nurse came in to say hello and meet Bryson. She did a check on him and he was shaking. (He was shaking a bit in the delivery room but the room was also 55 degrees- who wasn't shaking??) She asked if he had eaten yet and I said I attempted to feed but he didn't nurse very long (mainly because they gave him to me and left the room- sadly didn't have a ton of support in that aspect). Then she said "he needs to eat- Similac or Enfamil?" I said "can I try to feed him?" and she said "no this needs to be now and fast." I said "Similac?" my heart just dropped because breast feeding was SO important to me and now within 5 minutes it wasn't an option. He tried to eat and spit it all up. She took his blood sugar and looked at us and said "it is 23. We have to take him now." I looked at Jeremiah and said "go with them!" and they wheeled him out.

There I sat. Alone in a hospital room, unable to go with them and completely confused as to why they took my baby and what was wrong. I called my mom, crying uncontrollably and she called my sister to come back to the hospital to be with me. I then called my best friend Lauren who was in a similar situation as I was in just a few weeks before and I just cried. She didn't say things like "it will be ok." or "he will be fine." she just simply said things like "This is so hard, Amber." and she prayed with me. My sister came and sat with me and I repeatedly text Jeremiah and told him to find a way to get me to Bryson. He finally got the nurses to come back up and check me and got me in a wheelchair and brought me down to the viewing room. As we were going down there our families were sitting in the waiting room, eager to meet the newest member of the family but completely unaware of the events that just happened minutes prior. I didn't even have the face to say "hi or thanks for coming" I just cried and wanted to see my son.

As we neared the "Stork's Nest" we didn't slow down. At that point Jeremiah came out to meet us but was very confused as they kept walking past the room I thought he was in (a less intense part of the hospital). All of a sudden I see straight ahead of me the letters "NICU" and my heart sank. Is my baby in here?? Isn't that really bad?? What was going on!? So many questions unanswered and so many emotions spilling over.

They wheeled us through the NICU doors and brought me all the way to his pod. I saw my sweet baby boy, hours old, hooked up to machines and IVs in his body. I broke down. They then slightly explained that he had dangerously low blood sugar and it was not a situation where they had time to explain things to me and attempt to get him to feed. They had to get his blood sugar up and the IV was the only sure fire way of doing that. I held him, cords and wires and all and just thought "this is not how this is supposed to be..."

Just as soon as I got in there, the nurse said I had to back upstairs to be checked again. The NICU was closing for an hour for shift change so Jeremiah and I went back up to our room and we just cried. Cried harder than I have ever cried before. We had a nurse wheel me back up and she kept saying things like "I know this is hard now but there is a reason." I could tell she was a Christian. I said "I have no doubt God has an awesome plan for this situation and for my son's life- it is just hard in the moment." and she then knew that we both had the same spiritual connection. She said she would be praying for me and it brought a momentary comfort that I needed.

NICU:

From there on out we were in the NICU every second we were able to. We were told that he needed to be feeding every few hours and his blood sugar needed to consistently be above 60 and they thought he might be released in about 2 days or so if his infection blood culture tests came back negative. That would take a couple days. If it came back positive he would be there for at least another week.

Every 2-3 hours I got in the wheelchair and Jeremiah pushed me down to the NICU and we attempted to feed. I begged for help and called in favors and asked for help and luckily our little guy is an amazing breast feeder. The hard part was that sometimes his blood sugar levels (which they checked every 3 hours) would be really high and sometimes they would be low again. It was a roller coaster ride of emotion. That and the VERY little sleep we were getting was just making it seem unbearable.

We had many nurses during our time there- all were very nice but it was hard when each nurse had their plan on how to help Bryson get consistent blood sugar. It made it very hard and confusing for me. I finally saw a lactation consultant who changed our lives. She relieved my engorgement, got him eating a full amount and made me confident in my feedings. From there we had 3 of the best nurses- Trudy, Jillian and Su-ling. All 3 of them confidently helped Jeremiah, Bryson and myself to get to the next step with each shift. All 3 of them believers (God is amazing). Bryson was eating well but 3 blood sugar readings in a row were 59. 1 point below what we needed. (each time we got a blood sugar level of 60 or higher they lowered his IV amount and once it got to 0 then we were almost guaranteed to go home within 12 hours.) getting three 59s meant 9 more assured hours in the NICU. I remember when we got those 59s on Monday afternoon and Jeremiah and I just broke down and prayed because it was so out of our hands.
Jillian then suggested we measure how much he was eating to make sure that was not the issue. I pumped and we then breast feed him and then gave him some of the pumped formula. His next reading- 61! So from then we knew if he got a full feeding he might be ok. We pumped a few more times and in came Su-ling. She was an angel from God- truly. She came in strong and somewhat abrasive (again this was the emotion and exhaustion talking). She said that she was a good teacher and would help us out and teach us as much as she could. I remember thinking I wanted a new nurse but I didn't want to ruffle feathers so we didn't say anything. She then began to help us with our feedings, showed us better burping techniques, and other little tricks. Our next reading- 63!! She then told us to go get some rest and come back in a couple hours and she wanted us to help bathe him and then do his next reading. She showed Jeremiah how to be more confident in his daddy roles and Jeremiah went from a somewhat timid new dad, to a father. It was amazing to see his transformation. Even with all the cords, IVs and monitors- he took charge and took care of his son. After his 4am bath, we did his next test and it was 65! My heart was overjoyed. We were 2 readings away from turning the IV off. Sitting with Su-ling at 4am and just talking with her we found out she was previously a missionary in Hong Kong and went to Moody Bible Seminary (even after being accepted to medical school) and God called her to nursing eventually and here she was. We talked about our relationships with God and she truly inspired us to hear God's calling and follow Him.

Here was the scary part- if he didn't continue this way, we would not be able to stay in the room we were given any longer (they got us another room once I was discharged so that we could stay with Bryson and continue our feedings and time with him). At that point I just had to trust. I have known so many people who had to go home and leave their babies in the hospital and my heart just burst thinking about being in that position. Su-ling shifted out and hugged her so tightly and thankfully Jillian came back and did his next test and it was over the 60 mark again. One more reading and we were in the home stretch! As you can imagine, from there on our we stayed well above our 60 minimum, there was no blood sugar issue anymore, no infection and we were on our way to being discharged.

Going home:

The doctor came in Tuesday afternoon and said that Bryson was able to go home!! It was just the best conversation of our lives. They ruled out all infections and other reasons and believe because labor was so long and strenuous that he used up all his blood sugar during that time. So he is healthy and great! We remember thinking that moment would not come and it was here. We packed up our stuff, took all the cords and monitors off of him, dressed him in his own clothes and got ourselves ready to go. We said goodbye the our nurses (most people knew us at that point because we were the ones with the "beautiful blonde baby"), wrote cards to the ones who impacted our lives, left presents for all the nurses who helped Bryson in some way over those 5 days and took Bryson in his car seat and headed for the car. It was the first time in 5 days we had gone outside and it felt so odd to be taking him out to our car. He was ours- solely ours now. It felt amazing.

Our time home has been great. Easier than we ever could have imagined and largely due to our 5 days of invaluable help from our NICU nurses and Bryson is just perfect. Each day is different but each day is a blessing we won't soon take for granted.

Continue reading as we post regularly about Bryson's new and exciting life and all the milestones and joys he is going to have!

Enjoy some pics of our sweet baby boy: